Domestic Violence Against Men
You are not alone
As many as one in four men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking in their lifetime.
We provide services to people of all genders affected by domestic abuse and/or sexual assault - including men. If you’re a man in an abusive relationship, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. It happens to men from all cultures and all walks of life regardless of age, occupation, or sexual orientation. However, men are often reluctant to report abuse by women because they feel embarrassed, or they fear they won’t be believed.
We know that domestic abuse is not limited to violence. Emotional and verbal abuse can be just as damaging. Emotional abuse can take the form of:
Verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media.
Be possessive, act jealous, or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful.
Take away your car keys or medications, try to control where you go and who you see.
Try to control how you spend money or deliberately default on joint financial obligations.
Make false allegations about you to your friends, employer, or the police, or find other ways to manipulate and isolate you.
Threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you report the abuse.
When dealing with an abusive partner:
Leave if possible. Be aware of any signs that may trigger a violent response from your spouse or partner and be ready to leave quickly. If you need to stay to protect your children, call the emergency services. The police have an obligation to protect you and your children, just as they do a female victim.
Never retaliate. An abusive partner will often try to provoke you into retaliating or using force to escape the situation. If you do retaliate, you'll almost certainly be the one who is arrested and/or removed from your home.
Get evidence of the abuse. Report all incidents to the police and get a copy of each police report. Keep a journal of all abuse with a clear record of dates, times, and any witnesses. Include a photographic record of your injuries and make sure your doctor or hospital also documents your injuries. Remember, medical personnel are unlikely to ask if a man has been a victim of domestic violence, so it's up to you to ensure that the cause of your injuries are documented.
Keep a mobile phone, evidence of the abuse, and other important documents close at hand. If you and your children have to leave instantly in order to escape the abuse, you'll need to take with you evidence of the abuse and important documents, such as passport and driver's license. It may be safer to keep these items outside of the home.
Obtain advice from a domestic violence program or legal aid resource about getting a restraining order or order of protection against your spouse and, if necessary, seeking temporary custody of your children.
Our advocates are always here to help. Call 1 (800) 999-2348 to speak to someone about your options.